Sunday, March 31, 2013

Skipping Easter

My six year old had no Easter this year  No church, no basket, no candy.
She was at her dad's house. So while her sister went to the big family party that her grandmother had and knocked other children out of the way to get to camouflaged plastic eggs filled with gummy hamburgers my other daughter watched whatever she wanted to on Netflix and had a couple kids meals from Subway.

I don't make up elaborate stories about the Easter Bunny and told her honestly when she asked about Santa Claus that Grandma and I fill up the stockings, but I have to feel the holiday loses something when it is just another day.

The week before we attended church for Palm Sunday. On Thursday she made deviled eggs for the meal shared with community members in need and we talked about Jesus washing feet and being an example of serving others. On Friday we colored eggs at my mother's house and she drew an angel and an empty tomb on one and dipped it in pink and yellow so that it looked like sunrise. And then it dropped and cracked and she cried because there was no way to fix it.

There is my beautiful daughter and she is amazing and I desired to be a mother so much that I married her father, a very very bad decision. And sometimes I feel like crying like she did with the egg because there is no way to go back and have someone else be her father. And while we are picking specks out of other peoples eyes, no way I can be a perfect mother.

She will find her eggs and get her basket next Sunday, we arranged it with grandma and she calls it "her Easter" and really any day is just as good for recognizing the triumph of the Divine.

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